Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
