You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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