Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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