life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Welp...herpes.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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