If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
