a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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