He disabled his match.com account in front of me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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