How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
