You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
