: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
