I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
