I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Vodka?
Forever.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
