I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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