why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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