So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
