I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
