Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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