We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
