I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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