She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
