everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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