Yo dont text me then not text me
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
