he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
