yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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