I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
