How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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