If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize