Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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