I seem to have left my pride at pride
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
