I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
