i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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