dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
