i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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