sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
