Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i barfeds in our rink

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(612): i barfeds in our rink http://tfl.nu/23a8

Replies (8) Good night (919) Bad night (2449)
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(360): View more from Washington

I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

(1-360): View more from Washington

That changes everything.

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(360): I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy. (1-360): That changes everything. http://tfl.nu/pss9

Replies (27) Good night (5151) Bad night (898)
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(317): View more from Indiana

All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...

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(317): All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"... http://tfl.nu/vy09

Replies (6) Good night (4952) Bad night (1042)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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(225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl

Replies (5) Good night (3246) Bad night (1181)
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(+35): View more from

Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?

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(+35): Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me? http://tfl.nu/6cfp

Replies (12) Good night (975) Bad night (4106)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away

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(205): I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away http://tfl.nu/4739

Replies (5) Good night (2359) Bad night (958)
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(315): View more from New York

The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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(315): The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/v27u

Replies (3) Good night (2907) Bad night (955)
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(979): View more from Texas

Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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(979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74

Replies (5) Good night (2949) Bad night (942)
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(214): View more from Texas

then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them

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(214): then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them http://tfl.nu/nuwa

Replies (8) Good night (1658) Bad night (770)
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(815): View more from Illinois

He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.

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(815): He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background. http://tfl.nu/8wbf

Replies (5) Good night (681) Bad night (1832)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...

(320): View more from Minnesota

He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.

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(320): He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick... (320): He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis. http://tfl.nu/fuv3

Replies (26) Good night (2302) Bad night (1133)
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(407): View more from Florida

Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.

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(407): Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks. http://tfl.nu/yvne

Replies (6) Good night (1740) Bad night (414)
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(410): View more from Maryland

well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.

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(410): well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you. http://tfl.nu/1rtw

Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (395)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends

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(978): Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends http://tfl.nu/f495

Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (282)
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(773): View more from Illinois

No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.

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(773): No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0utw

Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (264)

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