Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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