Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself