Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm coming over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay. (713): I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/32wi
  Replies (30) Good night (4041) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket.. http://tfl.nu/9yr8
  Replies (7) Good night (938) Bad night (3753)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt. http://tfl.nu/2jv4
  Replies (10) Good night (6891) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence. http://tfl.nu/pvbz
  Replies (11) Good night (5320) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday http://tfl.nu/dtfw
  Replies (8) Good night (3649) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip http://tfl.nu/ivxr
  Replies (3) Good night (1874) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you. http://tfl.nu/cw12
  Replies (26) Good night (5520) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible. http://tfl.nu/mspa
  Replies (9) Good night (1322) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to... http://tfl.nu/6wxx
  Replies (8) Good night (529) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend http://tfl.nu/2vrs
  Replies (24) Good night (760) Bad night (1663)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats. http://tfl.nu/azi3
  Replies (12) Good night (404) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu
  Replies (6) Good night (797) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW! http://tfl.nu/6dh9
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise. http://tfl.nu/gx0y
  Replies (6) Good night (1002) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here http://tfl.nu/0r5v
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (252)

Randomize