I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
