I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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