Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
my nose is crying tears of wow.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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