i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Pooping to opera.
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