hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
