return my video game
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
