I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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