My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
