Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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