drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
