Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
