Sry I called you an 8
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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