I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think i have herpe
just one?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
