Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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