i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
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