Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
