Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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