It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He kissed a someone with a penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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