how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
