So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
