i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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