I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
