He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
