he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
