I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
