thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
