The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize