Umm I'm too high to move.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
