ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
