nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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