OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
