I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He shit in the fireplace
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