cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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